BURNED OUT: when the fiery furnace of TROUBLE gets even hotter

NIGHT OF DISASTER IN A MODEST NIGHTDRESS
All the best laid plans can go AWOL when you blink, and that’s what happened to my intention to sew a month of fixes for my worn-out modest wardrobe.

My “blink” happened when our dishwasher caught fire in the middle of the night, 13th April 2014, and we were flame-and-smoked out of our home.** I had completed one sewing project that very afternoon, a nightdress pattern I’ve adapted to cope with inadvertent social situations. There are two reasons I’m thankful I wore it immediately.

1. I was modestly covered when I had to leave the house in a hurry and watch the fire brigade rescue my worldy goods from destruction, and I wasn’t worried about tripping over the saggy-baggy knit in the dark, which I would have been in my 2-year-old nightdress.
2. All my sewing equipment, paper patterns, and fabric that were laid out ready to start the next project were damaged by soot from the fire. Thus would have been my new nightie if I had left it out to admire it like I usually do with finished projects.

When your plans are halted so abruptly, and when you realized how near you came to losing your home and your life, it takes a long time to work through the shock and find a way back to routine. Any sort of routine. And you constantly have to extend grace to yourself (and the rest of family) while you work (and sleep) your way toward that goal.

NO QUICK FASHION FIX, NO SHOPPING TRIP
There is frustration at every step, and extra obstacles on top of that. It’s taken three times longer than promised for our “emergency” dry cleaning, and there’s no sign of it yet. If I thought I was short of clothing three weeks ago, I’m even shorter now!

My peculiar health challenges, my location at the ends of the earth, and my preference for full length hems mean I can’t just go out and buy new clothes. It was ten days before I was able to borrow a sewing machine and get a sewing station set up in the motel where we’re camping while our house is cleaned and the kitchen rebuilt. Even then, it was a challenge getting patterns and fabric.

CARE PACKAGES BRING RELIEF
However, there is also blessing at every step. My sisters sent a Care Package of small, essential sewing tools, a treasure box of love notes from the children, food supplies (the ingredients that keep me well are hard to source), and the loan of a sister for three days to help me make new sewing patterns and cut out fabric.

Friends and strangers in our small town have reached out with kindnesses that warm our hearts. A footstool and fresh baking for Dad. Pre-prepared meals and kitchen space for Mum. A windproof jacket and a sewing gauge* for me.

*Not currently available in accessible shops.

UNEXPECTED ANZAC BONUS
A surprising blessing is that I’m just a block from the Cenotaph war memorial and I was able to walk to both the 5:30am Dawn Parade and 8:30am Civic Parade on 25th April, ANZAC Day. My camera and I lingered after each service, meaning I was able to enjoy a roaring sunrise in solitary splendour and capture photographs of the Cenotaph standing sentinel in the fiery rays. I hope to feature these in the new ANZAC music video I’m planning, “The Rose and the Red Poppy”, inspired by my hat.

What I'm wearing:
Peaked Knit Cap (lined) from Postie, with RSA-issued poppy and rose by Boutique Narelle
Butterfly zip polar fleece from The Warehouse, shaping and button styling added by Boutique Narelle
Acrylic fringed scarf from The Warehouse
Waterproof rain skirt by Boutique Narelle
Wool socks from Kathmandu
Red leather lace-up shoes from Envy

I don’t recommend the colour palette I’m wearing, but at times like these, you make the best of what you’ve got!

ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
I could write a book on how God has brought good things out of our traumatic situation. I see His hand at work every day, reminding me that when we trust Him with everything, He can turn even the direst situation meant for our harm into something beautiful. We have much for which to thank Him.

Right now, I’m thankful…

…that my netbook and camera were in my studio where soot damage was much lighter, mostly affecting furnishings;

…that a friend has offered us free use of their WIFI (and comfy lounge) so I can upload this post;

…that as I came online for the first time in nine days, I found messages of love and encouragement.

WHAT I’VE LEARNED THROUGH THE FIERY TRIAL
What perspective can I share from this position of Burned Out, when the fiery furnace of Trouble just seems to keep getting hotter?

I’ve learned to

• release the expectations I had,
• embrace flexibility,
• cling to God for grace, peace, and patience to take each day as it comes, and
• cultivate an attitude of continual thankfulness for what He has given me.

By doing this, I’ve found remarkable joy in the midst of these challenges.

I pray that through whatever trouble your life throws at you, you too will find the way to persistent joy amid your trials.
Fiat lux!
Narelle

**For more pictures of the fire, click here: www.facebook.com/NarelleWorboys.

Shocking Seasonal Closet Inventory: more than a modest problem

I hope you've never been in the position that I'm in, and I hope you never will be. I share this story with you for two reasons:

1. that you may feel thankful that your personal closet situation isn't as bad as this,
2. or to give you hope that, if your situation is as bad, there will be a way out for you too.

TEMPERATURE CHANGE
Today while waiting for my hair to dry, I took inventory of my autumn wardrobe. We've had a remarkably warm end to summer downunder in New Zealand, but it looks like temperatures are cooling down at last. My summer dresses will not keep me comfortable as we transition from no heating toward heating one room in the evenings, and my winter dresses aren't suitable either.

BAD NEWS
Having observed the entropy of the clothing I was wearing, I knew I was sailing close to the seasonal wind, but the big picture shocked me.

My Autumn/Spring Closet Inventory:

1 good dress
1 old but presentable dress in a bad colour (on me) but which I can fix with layering
2 old dresses (patchy, stained, or stretched)

That's it until winter. Nobody sells accessible, ready-made clothing that I can wear. Compounding this, my night clothes and chemises (full length slips/dress liners) have stretched so much I'm tripping on them or sitting through them. Nobody sells these either.

WHAT NOW?
Thankfully (unlike my hard-working garments), I'm not falling to pieces at this news. Why? Because it's been worse and I survived. Just two years ago, my closet was in an even more desperate situation and I was too sick to do anything about it myself. I juggled the value I had available (money vs. time/energy), and the solution I came up with was to import an Australian friend Suzannah who sewed as many garments for me as she could in eighteen days (seven new garments and three alterations). I've juggled again, and it looks like this year I'll have to do it myself. Somehow.

CHOOSING PRIORITIES
What do you have less of, MONEY, TIME, or ENERGY?

Which is the most precious to you? Which is the one you are most thrifty with? Which do you have more of, or is more readily available to you? That is the one you are more likely to feel comfortable with spending. Understanding this will help you choose what your priorities are.

Sometimes you have very little money, time, or energy. That's when you really feel the pinch, and you have to borrow from other parts of your life.

If you've been following this blog for the last two months, you'll know that I had embarked on a fundraiser project to launch the new Modesty Mall website, and a few weeks later I experienced the devastating loss of 6 years' worth of images from this site. The fallout of that has delayed development of the new site, and impacted other activity related to Boutique Narelle.

IT'S TIME TO BORROW
While I waded through the mess, I ignored my pending closet disaster. That, I can no longer do. I need a month to sew (I can't work as fast as Suzannah did).

Something's got to go. And that would be me from BN and the Modesty Mall. For a while. As the noble knight would say to his white charger (read 'sewing machine'):

"TO THE RESCUE!"

Mission Objective: modest, beautiful maiden (read "made in") New Zealand

Auf Wiedersehen, my friend! I hope to see you soon in new clothes!
Narelle

The Longing to be Beautiful, and how one black woman has opened dialogue on it

Black, white, or in between, if you've ever wished you look different than you are, watch this video.

If you've ever wished God gave you some-one else's features, I urge you to listen to this compelling 5-minute speech. If you know a girl or woman who makes negative comments about her skin colour, hair type, body type, or intellectual capability, watch this and share it with her.

Oscar Winner Lupita Nyong'o shares her journey from self hate to gracious representative of womanly confidence. Her honesty and insight into the core of beauty reportedly left her entire audience speechless.

http://youtu.be/ZPCkfARH2eE

This is so powerful! Watch and share! I've listened to Lupita Nyong'o twice already.

I hope this inspires more professional photographers to choose women of color as their models. Here at Boutique Narelle and the Modesty Mall we serve a readership from many nations and cultures, and our vision is to provide an "everyman" median representation. A very little calculation of world population will tell you that's not going to be pale. When not restricted by store promotions or having to model my own illustrations, I look for brown and black skin istock.

We also required neck-to-knees coverage and non-sensual styling, making the hunt thus far limited to images I can count on one round of my fingers. If you're reading this and you're producing this kind of resource, or want to, I'd love to hear from you.

Ladies, we have the ability to restore balance to the world of women's imagery. It starts in your heart and mine. Let's do it.

Loss, Grief, and Vision: carrying on after tragedy

 

EASY FOR SOME, HARD FOR US
I'm wistfully reading Facebook group comments from ladies who's modest clothing needs are easily and cheaply solved by a quick trip to a thrift store.

I've never been privileged to experience that.

If you live in a small town that has a secondhand supply of quality modest clothing, you are BLESSED indeed. In New Zealand, if you don't have easy access to a city recycled clothing centre, it's make your own or buy new - usually online, so factor in shipping costs. Rural living usually also means that buying fabric is difficult or expensive.

Yes, modest dressing is a challenge to the budget.

And it's hard work.

But it shouldn't be. Modest femininity should be fun. It should be full of delight. It should be easier.

That seems like a far stretch.

But I know I can make it better.

WIPE OUT
I've spent six years seeking ways to make it better. Then a week ago, I lost all of my images from this website: garment recommendations, modest outfit styling tips, modest beauty solutions and personal care advice, sewing tutorials and do-it-yourself fixes for immodest apparel...in a blink, the visual element of my life's work GONE.

It's not just hiding, it's been permanently deleted, and the blogger backup turned out not to be a backup at all. I have most of the images on harddrive, but finding and reconnecting them to the appropriate text is a task so massive I can't even begin to contemplate it at this time.

AFTER THE STORM
How do you carry on after a tragedy? Here are seven survival techniques I've learned that are helping me get through my loss with grace.

1. Admit your loss, and let go.
2. Tell your soul to hope in God.
3. Thank Him continually and specifically for His goodness to you.
4. Allow yourself to grieve.
5. Re-establish routine. Take one day at a time.
6. Complete something, anything small, and celebrate it.
7. Remember your vision.

If you're dealing with loss and tragedy in your own life, I know these will work for you, too. How do I know? Because I'm like you. I'm an ordinary woman using extraordinary techniques. They work.

How do you carry on after a tragedy? First regain your equilibrium, then remember your vision. I can still make modest living better for you and for me. That purpose has not changed.

I'm pushing ahead with the new website and continuing to seek ways to fund it and staff it. I'm excited about the service we're creating, and look forward to sharing it with you.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
In the meantime, if you don't have the benefit of good quality secondhand clothing stores nearby, make use of our Modest Mall international shopping tool. Shops are constantly being added. And countries. Last week I went on a shopping spree (window kind) to Brazil! Google's "Translate Page" is a wonderful thing. If you feel the cold like I do, you might want to check out the lined, wool-blend skirt-pants and maxi skirts featured in the "Best Stores in China" section.

If you haven't done so already, subscribe on the sidebar so we can stay connected. I would be honoured to be part of your journey toward living modestly, loving femininity, and leading your heart toward true beauty.

If you would like more personal interaction with me, please join me on Facebook at www.fb.com/NarelleWorboys.

Fiat lux!
Narelle

I will not be afraid of evil tidings: my heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD. [from Psalm 112:7]